#well... seems like he has a type...
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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FARSCAPE | 1.06 Thank God It's Friday, Again.
#I love this exchange so much specifically because it tells us a lot about how the translator microbes work. I mean. I highly doubt that – at#least at this point – john has ever discussed woodies with Aeryn.#But I can quite easily imagine that he’s at one point looked at some alien thing shuddered and gone ‘ugh. Gives me the willies.’#And since aeryn’s translator microbes picked that up and returned it with woody we can kind of see how they work.#It’s taken willie – a colloquial term for penis – and substituted it with another colloquial term for penis – woody.#The problem is that these terms both have connotations that the microbes don’t pick up on#hence the incorrect substitution.#However they do seem to do okay with homophones#presumably based on context.#It’s like how back in like 2012 if you typed a word into google translate that didn’t translate well#it would give you it’s best guess#and then if you translated it back it would just have a completely different meaning. Essentially translator microbes work probably as well#farscape#aeryn sun#claudia black#syfysource#cinematv#filmtvcentral#chewieblog#smallscreensource#usercreate#userthing#farscapeedit#john crichton#ben browder#farscape gifs#my gifs#claudia black gifs#dailytvwomen#popcultureds
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Therapy Humans
After being in a war for millions of years transformers gotta be really fucked up. So I imagine with humans being nice and soft and having therapists that we'll be therapy dog humans.
#transformers#humans are cats#humans are space cats#transformers x human#not really but eh#bumblebee would love sam holding his face on his lap#Optimus has tranquil conversations over tea/energon with cade#mirage seems like the type of bot to love physical contact to relax#so platonic cuddling!#or not 😏#mirage x noah#barn husbands#idk sam ships name with bee#sams and bee are like the same age right? well in their species#im no longer some 15 year old who uses questionable stuff to cope because I didn't know any better#i got standards#I'm assuming he's like 17#once again i don't know a lot about of tf outside of fics#and bee is like 16-18
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hilarious that with each new day that passes a new bit of dirt from JD Vance's past gets discovered and plastered over the internet...it's almost as if this is why presidential campaigns have always announced their running mates well before the convention...so that if glaring issues with a candidate came to light quickly there would be time to replace them on the ticket before they were officially locked in...it's almost as if certain things in political campaigns were done for a reason, donald...because the very same critical failures had happened before...but no i'm sure you and your guys attempt to recreate a fantasy version of history while ignoring all the reasons that history was a disaster will work this time...because you are built different and the 10000th time trying fascism will work like a charm...
#us politics#politics tw#i view the MAGA movement like this:#the conservatives have been desperately trying to jam a square peg into a round hole for a very long time#and they keep trying because one of these times its GOT to work! a very long time ago they heard the hole was more squarelike#so if they just TRY hard enough it will work!#failing to understand that the hole has become weathered and changed over time and the solution they are trying#will never work (if it ever did)#and then donald trump comes along and looks at the square peg#lobs one of the corners off and proclaims 'this is a triangle! THIS will work! I am so smart!'#and everyone around him is like 'whoa! this guy gets it! he's a genius and understands the problem! he's our savior!'#ignoring the fact that the peg is not a fucking triangle. it's just a deformed square now#so its still not going to work. and even if it WAS a triangle it still wouldn't work because THE HOLE IS ROUND.#it's the same damn peg but it looks a little different so everyone thinks its a genius solution that is DEFINITELY going to work#so they're all excited! they're FINALLY going to prove those idiots trying different types of oval pegs wrong!#they were right all along and it just took donald trump to see it! thank goodness he came along!#but that's just it-- he WAS just COMING ALONG. he was just walking by and saw an opportunity. he never spent time trying to make pegs#all he did was saw a crowd and took a chance to break an already failing peg even further#but because the people were desperate and it was different enough it seemed revolutionary#and now some of the conservatives--who can still see that the 'triangle' peg isnt a triangle are starting to look around#and see that elsewhere there have been some who have forced a triangle into the center of the round hole#and these people think well what if we ACTUALLY tried a real triangle?#and it does not matter to them in the slightest that it will never be the true solution to filling the hole#they just want credit for solving the problem#and so they are going to back donald trump and when the time is right put a real triangle in his hand#while the people trying ovals are busy arguing over the right type of oval#and once the triangle has been jammed into that hole...well...#it is going to be really really hard to force out#anyway thats a long and complicated metaphor and i probably should have just put it in its own post aaaaaahgh#long story short dont be a fascist triangle alright
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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage
#eliot posts#dunme#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao#but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here#i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying#tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number#(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a#plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time#and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars#and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75#the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???
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1-a somehow finding out that their stoic, hardass homeroom teacher is absolutely stupid head over heels in love with their goofy, ridiculous, eccentric english teacher and subsequently reading WAY too much into how they interact in passing when they switch periods every morning
ie: in that scene where shouta takes too long to conclude class and makes mic wait, there's a slight pause in his canter before he calls hizashi "mic"-- class 1-a would be gripping their seats to bring that up in the dorms later about how aizawa-sensei probably almost accidentally called mic-sensei "pookie bear" since that's most DEFINIETLY what he calls him at home
they talk every morning when shouta is leaving the room and hizashi is walking in, and every day, class 1-a will watch for subtleties in behavior so closely that some of them don't even breathe or blink
#mina and hagakure are the leading psychoanalysts#that is to say that they make the most stuff up out of nowhere#like how when mic-sensei's eye twitches when he nods to aizawa-sensei#it means that aizawa-sensei didn't do the dishes last night#and he's angry at him#or when aizawa-sensei stumbled that one time#and mic-sensei caught him#aizawa-sensei DEFINITELY had a shoujo romance pink background w sparkles and soft rings moment#(which that one may not be TOO far off but he wouldnt admit that under torture)#but also kirishima is oddly invested as well#he'll contribute his manly thoughts like#aizawa-sensei handed the lesson plan binder to mic-sensei extra carefully today ! mic-sensei#probably brought him coffee before class even though he knew he'd see him later ! that's so manly !#and izuku also does his nerdy#well their pro hero dynamics make sense- they work well together and seem to be very congenial#though i dont think aizawa-sensei would be the type to-#analysis. he takes it very seriously.#nothing i just love them so much#the soapbox has pawprints#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#shouta aizawa#aizawa shota#hizashi yamada#yamada hizashi#present mic#eraserhead#erasermic
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💗🏥 Shuake Week- Day 6 - Wound Tending 🏥💗
I've always really liked the idea of goro waking up after the engine room with a bullet wound in the chest. he miraculously survives, and akira has to take him in and tend to him, while hiding him from shido's men😳💦
(also yes, goro is wearing akira's pj pants😌💞)
#shuakeweek2024#shuake#goro akechi#akira kurusu#persona 5#p5#maybe i should have drawn goro more grumpy XD#he seems like the type that would be tricky to take care of#like a stray kitten#he's just never had anyone care for him since his mother🥺🥺#also i drew him with his hair pushed back if you cant tell ahsjdkl#i also wanted to give this romantic lighting but i struggled with it a bit#i got carried away with coloring and forgot about lighting orz#oh well lol#i really wanna read a fic with this premise#where goro has to lay low at akira's place for a little while to avoid shido knowing hes still alive#where they have to coexist and they still have all of their unresolved tension#also- there was only one bed????#p l e a s e#if i could write i would do it so fast#maybe ill draw more for this#we'll see#♡♡♡♡♡♡#shitty#(< that's my art tag)
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(*i dont know what kind of dog huan is, but he sheds. a lot. caranthir just wants to have ONE (1) space thats not covered in shed fur)
assume this is in the context of a modern au, or else that everyone is miraculously back from the dead and generally getting along fine and in the interim aman has had its industrial revolution and produced a more eco-friendly equivalent to our technologies
dont take this too seriously or get upset if your blorbo isn't represented, i filled out the ballot on a whim lmao. if you have someone you are Convinced would have one that isn't on this ballot, please do mention it in the tags
#silmarillion#silm polls#polls#house of finwe#finweans#feanorians#nolofinweans#arafinweans#and for anyone curious about why i excluded some of them (i.e. my highly arbitrary headcanons im sticking to):#feanor and nerdanel have seven kids and two(+) crafts that utilize a lot of bulky materials. they dont have time for vehicular aesthetics#they have a 15 passenger vans for kid ferrying and a delivery-type van to move materials and Thats It#i honestly think finrod is too social for a car that only seats two#maglor has a minivan. i will not be accepting criticism or substitutions at this time. he needs the space for his instruments and kids#(where'd he get the kids? are they his? probably. maybe. dont worry about it. did you know that minivans have /so many/ cupholders?)#curufin also has a minivan because he has only one child but is completely obsessive about his safety. and minivans are generally very safe#celegorm refuses to consider buying a vehicle his dog cant fit into and has either a jeep or a toyota hylux that he uses to the max#maeglin has a nightmare car he cobbled together out of the remains of twelve different makes and models. its extremely fuel efficient but#visibly frankensteined together and he almost never gets asked to give anyone a ride to the airport#(jury's still out on whether that was an intentional part of the design or not)#i dont have a solid reasoning for leaving off findis and arafinwe. they just dont seem to me like they would#same for celebrian gil-galad or the rest of the great-grandkids. i either dont know them well enough or they dont strike me as the type#god these tags are ridiculous. okay cutting myself off now goodbye
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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The blue eye samurai fandom, for some reason
#I am once again asking if the kids are alright bc it doesn’t really seem like they are#friendly reminder that mizu kills people ny guys including unarmed randos and one unlucky teenager pissing his pants in a corner#but sure Taigen is irredeemable. lay off my emotional support blorbo.#blue eye samurai#taigen#and hey I love Akemi a buttload but she has at least nine lives or something no way would getting robbed in the woods#running off to a brothel and getting re kidnapped go half as well for anyone else#no one ever took advantage of her it’s incredible I’m glad and all but my god those were stupid risks to take#I’m so looking forward to her political intrigue character arc but let’s not act like she hasn’t done some dumbass shit#and Mizu’s a fucking mercenary. does she kill for money? no but she killed for information and she’ll kill anyone in her way to get what she#wants. taigen as far as we know has only killed peoples in duels and fights. he’s not out ganking randos.#the point of this show is that this is not your average cartoon and none of these characters are average black or white types#everyone’s grey and it’s all delicious#enjoy it.
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Rank the aftg characters based on who Jean finds hot
this is hard bc Jean thinks everyone’s hot buuuut:
1. Kevin
2. Jeremy
3. Renee
4. Cat
5. Matt
6. Dan
7. Neil
8. Laila
9. Allison
10. Nicky
11. Andrew
12. Aaron
#i feel strongly about these#i think.. lmao#allison does not seem like jean’s type at All lmao#ask tag#pushing my ‘matt is hot’ agenda#jean likes hot and nice people and so he would like matt#and jean gets along well with thea and in my mind dan and thea are vaguely similar#if there was a venn diagram of aftg characters thea and dan would overlap a lot methinks#jean has unconscious neil bias#so it shaded him from thinking neil is hotter (if neil was taller lmaoo)#but if neil grew up with jean in the nest they would get tg#i don’t think jean thinks andrew and aaron are hot#nor nicky#aftg#tsc#jean moreau
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eepiest little man in the building
#HIS EARS ARE SO BIG HELP#so ive heard type shit#he has a habit of tilting his head back when he’s being petted like he fucking CONKS it back its so funny#we visited a cat cafe today I wanna go back again… there are so many of them#the room was really well maintained like we wore shoe covers and everything. and there’s a back room for the cats to go if they wanna#tap out so thats nice. BUT THIS LIL GUY. OHHHHH LIL MAN#he looks almost completely black but he seems to have these slightly darker stripes which are hard to see..??#THERES ALSO AN ENORMOUS MAINE COON NICKNAMED THE KING OF THE ROOM? HES HUGE JESUS CHRIST#made friends with a curious white and orange one who looked like he was thinking of pouncing down on me#and a very VERY pretty white and silver point with blue eyes who was happy to greet everyone#my brother was stuck on the floor bc a Persian that snubbed everyone else looked at him like ‘you. your lap is MINE’#and kept him there for 20 minutes. another cat wanted a turn but the Persian claimed him ;w;#my brother was popular with the cats bc they could probably sense he’s the calmest person in the room LOL#diary#yapping#cats#I wanna go back again sometime…
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New OCs
(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)
OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.
#my characters#also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation#but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him#but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too#its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful#mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human#mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS#while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life#and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt#but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet#and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me#so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research#and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah#and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans#are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect#i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research#and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart#but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know#and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha#anyway if you read all those tags ty#and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad#i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so#i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main#but then here i am posting on main#im sorry
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thank you for being #1 lancer fan the world needs more lancer fans
Ho ho ho, of course!! Lancer is CRIMINALLY underrated I tell you, kid deserves WAY more attention than he currently gets
Glad to see another Lancer fan pop in <3!
#yk bit of a random thought but i think people see Lancer as relatively surface-level character-wise#they see all these other characters like Noelle & Spamton & Ralsei etc#characters who CLEARLY have more to them you would need to be blind to miss it#Noelle is one of the main characters as of Chapter 2 & has obvious struggles#<- notably her father likely passing away later on & her interest in Susie (not a struggle but yk)#Spamton is a secret boss & has a lot of intrigue & mystique to him#<- plus he already has connections to characters like Swatch & the Addisons#Ralsei well yk how it is with him he's literally one of THE main characters#<- & we still don't know much about him & some people likely still think he could be evil as i'm typing this#<- that's how mysterious he is#but Lancer? he rly just seems like the comedic relief yk#<- the goofy sidekick#but no! Lancer is SO MUCH MORE than that! & it sucks that most people don't see it!#Lancer hs SO MUCH potential man i rly RLY hope he has a major role to play later on#<- not just in Chapter 1#he's canonically part of the Fun Gang too ain't no way Toby Fox has this be canon#<- & completely tosses Lancer aside in later chapters#i have faith in Toby i think he can & will give Lancer justice in later chapters#just my endless tag ramble#maybe i should make this its own post and go more in-depth#yk what fuck it this is getting a deltarune tag on edit#ask#deltarune
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when you think about it clive and flora are actually perfect narrative foils on complete accident. like what's up with that. professor layton and the completely imagined literary devices
#what did they talk about when they were alone for that one segment of uf . . . humming#i'm sure this post has been made before by someone more eloquent but i don't shut up. ❤️❤️❤️#it's like the fact that they both lose their parents at a young age#both are succeeded by a large fortune#both are incredibly insurmountably lonely in a way they are not equipped to deal with#both develop poor coping mechanisms (though one notably more poor than the other . . . el oh el)#both develop a one-sided codependence on layton (or rather. more like the Idea of him. the concept he represents)#they also both spend a lot of screentime poorly disguised god bless ❤️#flora just seems to shrink inward while clive. Well#flora is seemingly willing to accept any type of mistreatment so long as she's told she won't be left alone again#whether because she can't bear the alternative or if she genuinely believes them every time is debatable#she's fine with being temporarily abandoned because she is used to it. as long as she's kept around some of the time she's fine#but clive internalizes every slight and files it away in some increasingly grandiose and frankly childish revenge fantasy#on a small handful of people that HAVE wronged him and a couple hundred thousand that never will#everything he sees is taken as proof of a worldview he doesn't even seem to necessarily hold himself#that at the end of the day is simply a manifestation of a seeping debilitating loneliness#they both have people that care for them. but not really in the type of way they need or want#i have more to say but . . . alas. not intelligent enough for it#my point: both of these characters ard the same coincidence? i think not. Transgender;#t#professor layton
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hot as hell, 24 years old, makes 1 million bucks a day
#zachary zatara#dc#dc fanart#my art#SORRY I KEEP DRAWING HIM WITH FISHNETS HE'S JUST ICONIC LIKE THAT#zach seems like the type of guy to remove the ladder from the sims pool#these were originall supposed to be sketching/colouring exercises and then i got too into it#you can't see it that well but he has an eyebrow piercing
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